The Gambler-A Short Story
76The Gambler
It is the same every Friday night. The warm shower beats against aching muscles-shoulders, neck and arms; peels of wetness streaming down back, buttocks and legs. Hairy, muscular legs.
He gets out of the tub, careful to step onto the blue and yellow striped mat, lest he leave a trail of moist footprints along the bathroom floor. Gazing into a mirror clouded with steam, he balls up one fist and wipes the glass clean with the fleshy part of his hand.
Staring at the green eyed reflection, he turns his head from side to side and scratches his jaw as if pondering whether to shave or not. But, the decision has already been made. Not to shave would be a decisive moment to change a routine established years ago.
He’s aloof to the fact that it makes him look ragged. Not rugged , as a younger man with less gray would present, but scruffy and unkempt. He certainly doesn’t agonize about the possible razor burn that occurs nuzzling up to someone, (anyone), with softer skin. It’d been far too long for any consideration of that. No, he doesn’t think of pleasing anyone but himself. It’s the prickly sensation that the stubs on his jowl create that is bothersome to him.
So, his shaving ritual begins. When he’s finished he inspects the results with a keen eye, adds a stinging splash of aftershave, and goes about the business of gathering up his clothes.
It’s Friday evening and as he zips up the fly of his too tight jeans, carefully tucking in the soft, black tail of his shirt, he looks around for his boots. Ostrich. Heels three inches or so. Old, but his meticulous care has maintained them in good condition. He pockets his wallet and his gaze follows the line of the single bureau settling on the ancient, silver dollar quietly waiting for him. His marker. His amulet.
Time to go.
He drives a hundred miles to meet the boys at the club for the weekly poker game. He goes to win. Never mind that he’s lost paychecks and more in the course of the night. He’s a winner. He’s a gambler.
Kenny Rogers singing The Gambler
Notes on the short story: The Gambler
In December 2007, my sister, a freelance writer, sent me two books in support of my writing fiction. Perhaps some of you are familiar with them or may have used them yourselves. They are The Pocket Muse books by Monica Wood. A wonderfully compact set of books filled with writing prompts of all types. I have: Endless Inspiration and Ideas & Inspirations for writing. She adds photos and tips for success throughout the pages. The Gambler was my first story written January 1, 2008.
Gambling Hubs
- Waiting for an Ace
A Sonnet about playing poker and winning!
vote upvote downshareprintflag
- Useful (1)
- Funny (3)
- Awesome (9)
- Beautiful (1)
- Interesting (2)
CommentsLoading...
Nice story !
I liked it! Now you have me wanting to read more -- hope he wins!
More stories, please!!! When I saw the HP alert on my e-mail regarding your hub, I immediately imagined that you'll include the video of Kenny Roger's the gambler. My guess is right^-^. Loved the song!
Thanks for reading the piece, everyone. The hubpages audience was the first exposure of this story. I appreciate all of the feedback.
@Linda-Oh, is that what that short piece is called? LOL 'Flash' Fiction...or is it named that b/c it is done 'on the spot'? I'm so new to this I am wide open to learning more about the craft.
@ankigarg-hello, nice to meet you. Thank you :)
@Krissy-Wow, thanks for commenting. Hugs to you.
@Travel--you were probably two steps ahead of me when I finished it in the early morning. I almost forgot about that song (although I love K.R and actually have a story of meeting him when I was 14 and getting his autograph on my arm!) I was attempting to squeeze the word count out and make the hub a little more interesting other than leaving just the short story. Thanks for your encouragement.
Great description of the gambler and his action. You definitely need to continue writing.
Thanks Pam. :) How are you? Still busy pumping out hubs I see. I'm getting moved to day shift in about 2 wks. I'm looking forward to that.
You have "told" this story with such finesse and passion. I love it.
Very nice story :-)
Hi Travel and De Greek--Glad you had the chance to stop by. Thanks for the comments. It was an interesting writing exercise to say the least. :) Always a story behind the story, eh?
Oooh! I wish I had the ability to write like this. All my "short stories" end up as mini novels. I'm trying to control myself. :D haha. I love this flash fiction story. It was quite impressive to me actually.
I wish I had more time to read the Hubs of great writers such as yourself. But now I have classes again. :( I can't wait for the summer to catch up on your writings! :) Great job! Rated up and awesome!
Hi Kim, nice to see you here. :) I understand your busy schedule. I feel the same way. Thanks so much for the compliment. I appreciate it. I'll be waiting for your next chapter. Keep up the good work.
Great writing .. very poetic! I am just wondering if you wrote the story about me?
Hahahahaha That's wonderful Travel! You made my day.
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your comments. :) Hope you read more of my work. I'll do the same for yours.
Overall a great story and I enjoyed reading it, thank you. I do feel the need to help with some constructive critisim, however. The first sentence limits the story too soon and could be more effective if it were moved to be the last sentence of the story instead. Again, thank you for a great story.
Very nice short story! impeccable use of words... I hope i can write like that :) love it!
Hi Jed-thanks for the feedback. I'm not sure how it limits the story??? explain please. Other than the title being a dead give away, I liked the ending paragraph b/c of the message in between the lines...? If that makes any sense. Anyhow, thank you for taking the time to read it with the eye of the critic. I appreciate that. It's what helps the improvement of a writer, isn't it. :)
Hi Risa- nice to have you stop by and read the story. Thanks for your comment. Play with the words and sentences. Get a visual and then write what comes up in the description of the visual. My practice did not come over night. (see Mr. Jed Fisher's comment above yours). It is a craft that needs time, attention and honing. Keep working on it and what you are doing is developing your talent. :)
Hahaha, I should know, Denise, since I now work in a casino. I imagined the gambler as you described his face...its very lucid, very detailed...great writing.
Oh mache--that is so funny! Thanks for the comment. I guess you should say you would know, LOL
Stands corrected...I would know! LOL!
Dear Mache-- I am chuckling right now. When I wrote my comment back to you, I did not make a comment to 'correct' you. Your statement was fine and did not need correcting. My comment was a way of affirming what you already said--an agreement to your statement. Keep writing, it's too much fun to quit! :)
LOL Thanks, Will, glad you enjoyed. I'll read yours as well.
He's the epitome of almost every gambler. Full of swagger, but light on assets. A clever tale of caution.
LOL Thanks for your feedback AH. I enjoyed writing this piece--know a couple of folks like him. :)
Great story, loved it and was so well written. A great pleasure to read.
Thanks Shamani-I appreciate your feedback. Glad you enjoyed the story.
Very vivid, detailed and accurate description of a gambler who's completely out of touch with how others perceive him. Voted up and interesting.
Hi Gail-it was a fun 'prompt' to write. I like doing those once in awhile to test my fiction writing skills. I do far better with memoir! LOL
I think you've got a flair for both! Would like to see you create some fiction for the upcoming contest.
LOL I don't think I will have time, Gail, but thanks for the encouragement.
This is great! I think you did a fabulous job with the details. The scene played out just as it would be in real life.
I have a nice Ostrich purse that might go great with his boots and fleshy hands! Up and everything!
Hahaha that's funny, RHW. A nice touch, I must say. :)
Thanks for stopping by and reading/commenting. Yep, they go down H A R D and some never get up again!
Denise, This is a wonderful story. As I was reading this I could see my uncle.
Hahahaha thanks for reading-your uncle and mine!
Good story. I have not really pared down much to the point of flash fiction. I do keep them pretty short though.
Thanks for stopping by to read this one dahoglund. It was a true writing challenge for me, but I imagine it would be even more challenging if I had a timer going and needed to complete it in under 50 minutes, haha.
LindaJM 19 months ago
Flash fiction! I LOVE flash fiction and have written some myself. You give an excellent description of your gambler... I can see him through reading about his habits.