How to Get Your Parents to Buy a Laptop for You

Although many households may already own a computer, not every home has a laptop; or perhaps the laptop is reserved for the adults in a work related capacity. If you are a teen bound for college, and sharing the family desktop computer, you may want a laptop of your own.

This is usually not an issue if you are a student using this tool predominately for study purposes. However, even younger teens may want a laptop of their own and the issue arises as to how they will persuade their parent(s) to purchase one for them. Here are two points that may strengthen your case:

1. You need it for your studies: you'll be able to access your own computer without interfering with trying to use the family computer; you won't have to leave the house for the library.

2. You need it for convenience: it's a portable computer and therefore you can have access to anything you need if it is with you when you travel.

This is an important step to consider before any negotiation takes place. Are you a demander? That is, do you insist when and how things will go; do you use emotional blackmail or manipulation to get what you want?

If you answered 'yes' to those questions, you may want to ask a teacher or mature friend to give you some honest feedback on how to move out of childish demands and into a respectful way of explaining your needs and listening to your parents side.

This takes some practice, however, it is a beneficial tool, especially as you move through adolescence. You will have to use these same 'mature' ways of communicating with your boss, as you seek employment; or with teachers.

Or, you could be a whiner-a person who doesn't relate in an age appropriate manner with her parents, but instead regresses to a younger age. This can happen if you feel you have no power in negotiation.

To help empower yourself, try to be aware when you are asking your parents for something. Are you able to catch the tone of your voice, or perhaps, listen if someone is giving your feedback about your pleas? Again, practice will change this habit, however, awareness is the first key to transformation; owning the problem is the second key to change.

Do your homework about what you are looking for. That will mean getting specific about the type of laptop you want, as well as staying open and flexible to parental suggestions. You may have your eye on a particular make and model that is out of your parents budget. Don't slam the door on their ideas-listen and be willing to compromise, that's what negotiation is all about.

Here are some things you may need to have on hand when you sit down with your parents:

1. Name of computer, company, model number and price-be sure to have a range of prices for your parents consideration.

2. Several places that the laptop can be purchased, store hours if you intend on browsing with your parents, or perhaps the websites that your parents can consider looking at on their own.

Once you have your facts in front of you it's time to request a meeting. Notice the word, 'request'? It means that you will ask to meet with your parents to discuss this issue and will set up a time that is agreeable to both parties. Here are some do's and don'ts to consider:

1. Do explain that you'd like to meet with both of your parents at a time that is convenient to them.

Don't balk or disagree if the time the choose interferes with the Friday night football game. It may be the only time they are both relaxed and not distracted.

2. Do wait for a time when they are not distracted with other family obligations. Save the 'talk' for your meeting.

Don't hit them up as soon as they come home from work; while they are cooking dinner; during a siblings sport practice; or during other inopportune times. Remember-you want their undivided attention.

3. Do give them the reason for the meeting If they ask for information about it beforehand: "I'd like to talk with you and dad about laptops."

Don't be discouraged if your mom immediately responds with a "no" before the meeting. Instead of getting upset, remind her that you'd like to have a fair chance with enlightening her with the research you've done and that you'd like her to hear you out.

4. Do find a quiet, neutral place that has few, if any, distractions-your bedroom or theirs may be ideal if there are a lot of people in the house and little privacy.

Don't hold the meeting in a heavy trafficked area of the household if your parents are going to listen attentively to you.

5. Do keep the meeting short-present your information and reasons, ask them to look it over and think about it; tell them you'll get back to them in a few days.

Don't hash and rehash your points; don't become defensive if they ask questions; don't beg for an immediate answer; and don't pout or throw a temper tantrum if it goes poorly-that will convince them you are still too immature.

6. Do keep to the reasons that you want a laptop and keep them positive.

Don't use the reason: "Because all my friends have them." Good parents are never persuaded by what the crowd does.

7. Be prepared to answer questions they may ask about rules and parental controls.

Don't be insistent that they won't be able to access the laptop when they feel warranted.

8. Do offer to help pay for the laptop if money is the issue holding them back.

Don't expect to have them pay for all of the expenses if this is not reasonable.

To negotiate, (ne-go-she-ate) is a verb that means to come to an agreement between you and at least one other person, through discussion and compromise.

Here are some tips to keep in mind when you are negotiating with your parents:

1. Remain respectful at all times.

2. Remain calm, even if you do not like what they are saying, or disagree with their decision.

3. Keep to the facts and avoid, as best you can, over emotions.

4. If your request is denied ask for their reasons.

5. If it is money-negotiate to pay for part of it; if it is a concern of irresponsibility, ask for a three month probation period to prove them wrong.

6. Accept the outcome-throwing a temper tantrum or storming out of the room will only prove their concerns were valid.